Suburban exploring

I’m not much of an “urban explorer” these days–sure, I like finding things in the city, and even climbing around in abandoned industrial parks, etc., but urban areas feel increasingly familiar to me, so unless I’m in some bizarre foreign city it doesn’t really seem like “exploring” in the fullest sense.

This is not the case for the suburbs. The ‘burbs are an alien land, filled with strange people, structures, and landscapes. I took a walk yesterday in the suburbs outside of Denver, where my family always spends Thanksgiving, and managed to find some subjects of interest.

This creek bed runs adjacent to the park outside the gated community where my aunt and uncle live.

 

It runs under the main road.

The National Ballet of Denver is not in a strip mall. It's in the back of a strip mall.

 

I've always been intrigued by this Indoor Skydiving building.

Children in jumpsuits await the chance to be thrown up into the air by a strong fan beneath a grate in the floor.

 

There's definitely a skill set related to indoor skydiving. Although you don't even get to jump off anything, which I found incredibly bogus, you can manipulate your body in different ways to fly around in extravagant fashion. This employee was "running" around in circles in the air upside-down.

If you don't hold your body right, you can fall onto the grate. This spells "lawsuit" in the burbs, so children are naturally not left to their own devices.

 

Ride your badass motorcycle to this badass bar after a badass indoor skydiving sesh.

The wilderness of future development.

This house was already sold.

 

So was this one.

 

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I walked to the college today

I didn’t feel like seeing anyone today. It used to be all my old friends would hang out together every night in somebody’s crappy apartment or trailer and all I had to do to see everyone was show up at a nightly get-together and all the fish were there in the barrel, ready to be shot. Now, people have their own houses and families, jobs in the morning, and so forth, so it’s mostly individual visits if I feel like seeing old friends, which I usually do, but not today. Today I didn’t feel like seeing anybody. I thought about calling my friend George, whose family essentially adopted me during high school, get his sister’s number and go see her in Reliance, north of town, while he was at work and then drop in on him after he got off, but I just didn’t feel like seeing anyone today.

This morning a guy emailed me from the University of Iowa and said he’s bringing a cadre of accomplished international writers to New Orleans next week, and asked if I could help arrange some activities for them that would engage them with the city’s literary life. So, I spent much of the morning on the phone and sending emails, so that was nice, since I didn’t want to see anyone today.

I don’t know why I didn’t feel like seeing anyone today. I don’t feel bad or anxious. I sort of feel like I have things to do, but I don’t think that was it, because I really didn’t do any work today, and I don’t feel guilty about it. Well, maybe a little.

Instead of working today, I decided to walk to the community college. It’s on the next hill over, a few miles away, and has some pretty sweet dinosaur skeletons and a library I was sure contained a book I’d been looking for, Washington Irving’s The Adventures of Captain Bonneville, a masterful recounting of said captain’s explorations of the Rocky Mountains, especially Wyoming, told occasionally like Cormac McCarthy describing some snowy mountain pass Frodo had to traverse in Lord of the Rings. So I filled a mug of coffee, strapped a backpack on and set out into the beautiful, sunny day.

There’s the college, the brownish compound on yonder mountain.

I’ve always loved alleys. They’re like secret cities inside cities.

This tree house is pretty mediocre, but, hey, probably better than your tree house.

These trees are in front of the junior high I attended, which is sealed shut and ready for demolition later this fall. I had a lot of bad times at that school.

Yelling shit out car windows at pedestrians was never really a pastime of mine and my friends’ growing up, but it was frequently a supplemental activity to whatever else we were doing. While I was taking a picture of this union hall, some kid drove by and yelled, “It’s not that interesting!” Without missing a beat I replied, “Neither are you!” and felt good that I’ve still got it.

Some ladies were sweeping out an abandoned bank to turn it into a haunted house in October and let me wander around.

No one stays at the Park Hotel

Yep.

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Daddy Dan

Dan Copenbarger is one of my oldest friends. We’ve known each other since sixth grade, during which I gave him the name “Booger,” by which he was widely known until his late teenage years. I have expressed my apologies many times to him since.

Dan and I were drinking one night about five years ago at a bar called Buddha Bob’s, while his girlfriend was pregnant with their first child, and I asked him how he felt about being a future dad. He said, as I well knew, that he didn’t even really know who his dad was, and that the series of boyfriends that lived with his mom while he grew up were mostly total shitheads who smacked him around and degraded him. He said, given these facts and the negative ways they’d affected him, that he was going to do whatever he could to be the best goddamned dad he was capable of being.

And that’s exactly what he’s done. Is doing. It’s obvious how easy it is for cycles to repeat through generations, kids with shitty dads become shitty dads themselves, despite good intentions, etc. But Dan has bucked the trend. This owes to the fact that he’s just a solid all-around dude in general, thoughtful and honest, hard-working and responsible, generally good humored, and that he was smart enough to find a baby mama (basically wife at this point), Nissa, who wouldn’t take any shit even if he tried to dole it out. It’s a happy fucking functional family if I’ve ever seen one, and I got to spend a few hours in their living room yesterday bullshitting with Dan and Nissa and horsing around with the kids, who gleefully urged their dad again and again to throw pillows at their faces.

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My legs are going to be sore tomorrow

The tempo of my walk has hardly surpassed that of a leisurely New Orleans stroll in easily over a year, and aside from the occasional set of stairs I have not changed the vertical position of my body by my own efforts in at least that long. Since I’ll be following my dad, who has won gold medals and set state records at the Wyoming Senior Olympics the past two years straight, up into the mountains in a couple days to search for mule deer, I was eager to see how I’d hold up on a practice walk with him out into the high desert. Granted, he’s 67 and I’m 28, and I’m not exactly a couch potato, but I do spend large portions of time sitting at a desk at work and slogging back whiskey in smoky bars at night, and the thin mountain air certainly does less for my lungs than the thick moist fare they’re used to sucking in at sea level.

My dad’s standard practice walk is the distance of a 10k race (about 6.2 miles) up and out of his neighborhood and into the desert on a dirt road, to the top of a ridge and off down its side into the flats, then he turns around and walks back. From my parents’ house to the top of the ridge we pick up 300 feet of elevation, then drop off about 400 feet to the turnaround point. Unless he’s carrying the 16-pound weight vest I gave him for Christmas a few years ago, which slows him down a bit, his goal is to walk the course in an hour and a half. That’s an average of more than four miles an hour on terrain that’s hardly smooth or flat.

I laced up the steel-toed boots I bought ten years ago to work highway construction and immediately noticed their weight. My dad was topping off half-full Gatorade bottles with water, informing me with a chuckle that they now sell Gatorade Light, which, to him, was akin to selling 50/50 antifreeze.

“You can buy a gallon of antifreeze for $4.50 or a gallon of 50/50 for $3.50,” he said. “It’s pretty funny how they can sell you a gallon of water for $2.50.”

My dad is an obsessive quantifier. He makes leaps like that to follow constantly (a gallon of antifreeze is essentially two gallons of 50/50, since 50/50 is half antifreeze and half water, so to obtain the equivalent of antifreeze by purchasing 50/50, you’d have to buy two gallons for $7, which is $2.50 more than the gallon of antifreeze). He says he first noticed his knack looking the back of UPS trucks, freshly loaded with packages in the morning, and being able, at a glance, not only to tell almost exactly how many packages were in the trucks, but how long they would take to deliver. My dad was a swing driver for UPS, which means he covered people’s routes when they went on vacation, so he had the advantage of knowing at what rate packages could generally be delivered on each route, but his accuracy still sort of creeped out his fellow drivers when he started giving out projections on a regular basis. It was then he realized his talent, and lamented that he hadn’t used it in some more lucrative profession.

So, our morning walk was filled with figures. Besides the time and distance, my dad knew the elevation we would gain from my parents’ house to the top of the ridge (about 300 feet), how much we would drop off the side of the ridge into the flats (about 400 feet) and how those calculations compared to various hills he and I regularly climb on hunting outings. He kept time according to landmarks, tracking our pace (we took 43 minutes to reach the turnaround) and compared it to his performance doing that same walk in years past (eight years ago, he could walk the same route in an hour and twenty minutes–we agreed that ten minutes in eight years wasn’t bad). He also watched the unobtrusive electronic contraption strapped to his wrist that monitors his heart rate, and that beeps when it sneaks above 160, the maximum at which a man his age should exercise. My dad is a stalwart believer in the use of heart monitors for exercise, because, he says, you can’t trust yourself to know whether you’re really pushing your limits. If you can tell how fast your heart is pumping and keep it at its maximum level throughout the workout, you’re making the most efficient progress. It beeped consistently during our walk back up the ridge from the turnaround point, forcing us to slow down.

At the top of the ridge is a cell phone tower that must not be Verizon, my dad tells me. He’s a patron of that service provider and gripes frequently about the poor coverage his phone has in remote areas. “Those ‘Can you hear me now’ commercials are bullshit,” he says.

Down to the turnaround

It turns out I can hike uphill just as well as always, able to walk the ass off a tall Indian, as they say. The flats and especially the downhill off the ridge toward the train tracks and interstate gave me problems, my toes scrunching into the steel fronts of my boots and my hamstrings tightening up. I’ve never been able to walk well downhill. It’s the opposite for my dad, who burns across the flats and downward slopes, throwing a hip forward with each stride to make up for his disproportionately short legs. He chugs and struggles uphill, though, and walking behind him this morning, watching him pull himself upward against gravity as we climbed back up from the flats to the top of the ridge, I began to think of the book Gravity and Grace by the mystic Simone Weil. Weil posits grace as a counterpoint to gravity, the only thing that can overcome it. Weil’s ideas are steeped in religious faith–gravity is the essence of creation, in that it’s both a byproduct of it and its essential element, while the process of de-creation, the overcoming of gravity and the discarding of its impediments, occurs only via grace–but I appreciate the secular connotations of the dichotomy as well. I thought of a ballet dancer and her perfect form in mid-jump, suspended far longer in the air that seems natural. I thought of the plastic bag narrated by Werner Herzog using the wind to float around the world in search of its maker. I thought that perhaps my ability to climb the hill had something to do with a certain degree of grace I possess, then I realized that I use essentially the same muscles to pedal my bike as to climb a hill, and since I commute 12 miles daily to work, that was probably it.

Once we reached the top of the ridge on our return my dad hit pace and almost left me in the dust. I managed to keep up with him, but my feet were plodding heavily on the dirt road, then the asphalt when we got back to the neighborhood. I reached my parents’ driveway a good fifteen seconds after my dad, and asked him how we did, time-wise. We had walked the route in an hour and thirty-one minutes, he said, which was pretty good, but it wasn’t an hour and a half.

My legs are going to be sore tomorrow.

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Room 220: New Orleans book and literary news

Dear Everybody,

As you may have noticed, this blog is no longer being updated. Check out my new project, Room 220, an online source for all things book- and lit.-related in New Orleans, supported by the literary arts nonprofit Press Street.

press-street.com/room-220

Yours,
Nate

We’re reading in New Orleans…

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NEW BLOG

I’ve launched a new blog along with photographer Akasha Rabut. It will document the blossoming of our new life in New Orleans. It’s called PEASANTS.

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Clancy Martin Tells the Truth Even When He Lies

This interview originally appeared on STOP SMILING Online

A Canadian boy drops out of high school to join his brother in Texas as a fine jewelry salesman. He becomes embroiled in the lies, cheats, vice and deceptions that permeate the industry, and certain parts of him become crushed and twisted, although he emerges a wiser man. This is the story of Bobby Clark, the fictional narrator of How to Sell (FSG), but it’s also the story of author Clancy Martin. The degree to which the narrator’s often-repugnant confessions correlate to the actual experiences of his creator is unclear, although Martin would probably tell you if you asked — he’s admitted on record to drug addiction, suicide attempts and defrauding customers (which, it seems, are the details most interviewers are interested in).

How to Sell, Martin’s first novel, is fast and coarse, like a stiff brush scrubbed quickly across a shiny surface. Stylish yet unadorned sentences guide the reader through a plot involving prostitutes and grand theft, but the real action is Bobby Clark’s descent from Canadian naiveté into the American abyss. Some of the novel’s best parts are the funny ones, like this description of an old, rich Vietnamese man trying on an expensive watch: “He had slender, muscular wrists and the elegant Patek looked right on him. The pale platinum belonged on his leathered skin. He could see himself feeding his enemies to the crocodiles in the moat behind his mansion.”

Clancy Martin is the chair of the Department of Philosophy at the University of Missouri, Kansas City, where he works on 19th and 20th century European philosophy and the ethics of advertising and selling. He has translated books by Nietzsche and Kierkegaard, and is at work on a translation of Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil. He has philosophy books forthcoming from FSG and Oxford University Press — titled Love, Lies and Marriage and The Philosophy of Deception, respectively — and is completing his second novel. He is also writing a memoir that is being serialized in the literary annual Noon, and has written articles in the New York Times, the London Review of Books and Harper’s.

I spoke with Martin as he drove north with his wife toward Oklahoma City from Austin, where he had just completed the final stop on the US book tour for How to Sell. He had recently appeared in Dallas-Fort Worth, where he is still a silent part-owner, along with his brother, of five jewelry stores.

Stop Smiling: How was the Dallas event? Considering the book is set in Dallas-Fort Worth, was that stop different than the others on your tour?

Clancy Martin: I was slightly nervous about it, but the people who came were all these very loving older, wealthy female customers of mine, and several wore jewelry that I had designed for them. So, yeah, it was really nice.

SS: Were you nervous that someone would show up whom you had said something about in the book?

CM: I was nervous that, given the content of the book, there might be some customers who would show up and say, “I want you to look at this and make sure you didn’t cheat me” — that kind of thing. But there was absolutely none of that whatsoever.

SS: Do you feel like you maybe dodged a bullet?

CM: Yeah, I really do. I was pleasantly surprised.

SS: In regard to the memoir you’re working on: Since How to Sell is a fairly autobiographical book, I was wondering what the differences were between writing an autobiographical novel and writing an actual memoir?

CM: The big difference to me is that, when you’re writing a memoir, you have to be as true to your memory as memory will let you be. The nice thing about a novel is that, in a novel, you can still be writing everything you know that’s true about your interior life, but you can use whatever sort of fictional creation you want to try to depict that. I think it’s why Aristotle said that poetry was closer to truth than history, because history, at the end of the day, is concerned only with fact, but poetry is concerned with making things more profound. I think that fiction allows you to do more exploration of human psychology than memoir does. You make the greatest catalog of facts you want and you’re still never going to capture what it is like to be human.

SS: How much does your background in philosophy inform your fiction? Do you find yourself trying to work philosophical ideas into a narrative?

CM: For me, especially because I’m trained as a philosopher, and I’ve never had any training as a writer of fiction, the challenge was to try to keep the philosophy from taking over the narrative. In How to Sell, I was always trying to bury the philosophy inside the narrative, rather than have the philosophy take over. Especially because it was my first novel, I wanted it to be as fast as possible — I was concerned with pace more than anything else — so I kept having to put all the philosophy underneath. For example, Aristotle has four different types of liars, so I wanted to make sure all four different types of liars appeared in the novel. And then Aristotle makes a distinction between lying and breaking a contract, and I wanted to make sure that was in the novel. And then Kant has a very famous argument about why lying is always wrong, and I wanted to make sure that was in the novel. And Augustine gives this long catalog of all the different kinds of lies that people tell, and I wanted to make sure that an example of every single one of those kinds of lies was in the novel. And then I was also very concerned about Nietzsche’s analysis of the appearance-reality distinction, and why, at the end of the day, it doesn’t stand up to philosophical scrutiny because of reasons about self-deception, and so I wanted to make sure that was in the novel. But, again, I wanted to get all that stuff in the novel because these are the things I work on in my philosophical work, but I knew that if I wrote that book it would just be this deadly boring book that no one would want to read.

SS: You’re obviously concerned with the idea of deception, but at the same time How to Sell is very forthright — its narrator admits to all sorts of questionable behavior. And since it’s an autobiographical work, so do you, to a certain extent. How does this relationship between forthrightness and deception play out for you?

CM: The concern all along in How to Sell was to try and have basically two Bobbys. There’s Bobby the narrator, who is telling the story, and who is trying to tell the story with as much sincerity and frankness as possible. And then there’s the other Bobby — Bobby the character — who’s actually experiencing these things. It’s Bobby the character who’s telling all the lies, getting drawn into all the deception, who’s getting increasingly confused by this world of trickery that he’s buying into. And Bobby the narrator is confessing all of this with complete openness and frankness. Part of what I hoped the reader would see is that the Bobby at the end of the book, after having gone through all of this, was the only person who could be in a position to confess all this with frankness and sincerity. He had to go through all that before he could have the sincerity, the frankness, the self-knowledge to be able to see through all of the bullshit that he had created for other people and for himself. That’s an insightful question because that was my most important operating premise — precisely that distinction between frankness and deception.

SS: You’ve translated books by Nietzsche and Kierkegaard, but you’ve also said that Georges Bataille is one of your primary influences. Bataille wrote philosophy and fiction, as well as anthropology. I was wondering what about Bataille impresses you so much.

CM: Certainly Bataille was a hero of mine for the reasons you just mentioned. I can’t compare myself, obviously, with these guys, but the great European intellectuals I admire of the 20th century didn’t just write philosophy. They were philosophers, but they were also interested in psychology, and they wrote fiction, and many of them wrote plays, and they wrote criticism for newspapers, and they did all these things. I’ve always admired that, and I’ve always thought that the humanities in this country would be so much stronger if we demanded that of our humanities professors. Because what is “research,” really, in philosophy? It’s a joke. What you’re doing is writing, and if you’re writing, then don’t you have an obligation to write to many different audiences, and not to write to just five other guys who are interested in the question of individuation, or something?

What I think I learned specifically from Bataille more than from any other writer is that the secret of doing your best work is asking yourself your most painful questions. He thought that the deeper the level of your confession, the more ferocious you could be in terms of your self-interrogation, the more intimate you could be with the ugliest aspects of yourself, the better your writing would be. We can all only do this so much, but I really try to follow that discipline. When I talked to [Noon editor] Diane Williams about my work — like, “Why did you pick these weird jewelry stories?” — she always said the same thing: “It was because there was this anguish of self-laceration and this anguish of confession in them, and that was the voice that was driving. The jewelry was just a vehicle.” So, I think that’s what I learned from Bataille. He wasn’t afraid to ask himself any question.

SS: You’ve published in every issue of Noon since 2006. I find the stories in there comparable to anything that you’d find in Harper’s or The Paris Review or The New Yorker, but outside of serious literary circles it’s relatively unknown.

CM: I agree. I think that the stories in Noon can go toe to toe with stories in the very best places publishing short fiction in the world. And I know a lot of very smart people who hold the exact same opinion, including people high up in the world of publishing. I think in the fullness of time, Noon will be much more widely known than it is today, when people look back on this period of literary history. Diane Williams has an incredible ear, and she has an eye for all different kinds of stories. This is a cliché, but I think she has this kind of ear for authenticity. If there’s one thing that she taught me — writing for Diane was really my MFA — it’s how to carve all of the bullshit out of my writing, all of the literary pretension, any kind of fake word, any kind of cheap trick, anything that didn’t sound original.

SS: There’s a recurring theme in the reviews of your book, which is reviewers feeling like it’s fitting or clever to mention how much they think the book is going to sell. There’s a New York Times review that reads, “All in all, it’s a winning combination. How To Sell will sell.” Newsweek had something very similar: “Selling How To Sell probably won’t be too hard.” And there are others. Do you think this is an unfair angle to take when talking about the book — almost characterizing it as something that’s not only about slick salesmen, but that’s also sort of a slick, flashy product in and of itself?

CM: I totally agree with you, of course. When I wrote the book, I was just praying that it would find a publisher. I remember telling my wife, and she remembers this, too, at the time we owed twenty thousand dollars on our car, and our dream was that we could get somebody to pay twenty thousand dollars for the book so that we could pay off our car. And then when people come out and say, “Oh, what slick packaging, blah blah blah.” I mean, it’s total bullshit. And it’s also just this incredibly superficial observation because, as you say, it’s like, “Oh, won’t this be cute? Isn’t this cute, coy remark?” Reviewers see How To Sell: A Novel, and think it’s going to be so clever to say that this is about how to sell a novel, when, in fact, it’s about the most facile, superficial, idiotic remark you could possibly make.

SS: You could characterize How To Sell as sort of an exposé on the jewelry business. Did you intend it to be that?

CM: Well, I was writing what I knew. I didn’t intend it precisely to be an exposé on the jewelry business, but I started writing the stories when I was still in the jewelry business, and a lot of the stories in one way or another found themselves re-written into the novel. Then, the more I got into the novel, the more I realized that the jewelry business was kind of a metaphor for something I was trying to say about a particularly confused idea of the American Dream. It wasn’t just for autobiographical reasons that I made the narrator a Canadian. It’s also because a lot of Canadians have this crazy idea of what it is to be an American, like you’re just going to go to America and, like all Americans, you’re going to deal in all these shady practices and then, like all Americans, you’re going to get rich. Canadians are always sort of congratulating themselves, patting themselves on the back, saying, “Oh, well, we’re not Americans because we don’t care about money, so we’re really honest,” and blah blah blah.

SS: It seems funny to me that people are surprised about the kind of corruption that goes on in the jewelry business. I always figured that most retail is like that. Do you think the jewelry business is any more corrupt than any other type of high-end retail?

CM: No, I really don’t. I was recently having lunch with a guy who owns a very successful hedge fund in Texas, and he’s a real honest guy — they were never into derivatives or sub-prime mortgages and all these other things because they were just really smart, honest guys. I started telling him about some of the latest scams in the jewelry business that I had learned about when I was out in Vegas writing this article for Harper’s, and he stopped me and said, “Clancy, you’re not talking about the jewelry business, you’re talking about the world. It’s not the industry — it’s business itself.” And he said it as though he were talking to a child, like, “Haven’t you realized this yet?” Of course, it is in a way funny that people are like, “Oh my God! Look at the jewelry business!” when, in fact, it’s this way in every industry.

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